Dumb Warnings

ThePentiumGuy

Well-known member
Joined
May 21, 2003
Messages
1,113
Location
Boston, Massachusetts
Hey,

You guys have to check this out:
http://www.dumbwarnings.com

Its a list of retarded warnings that companies in the manual.

Some of my favs:

Unknown Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.
Unknown Air Conditioner
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.
Life saving device
This is NOT a life saving device!!!
7 Up
Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening.
Swansea Institute of Higher Education, Wales, UK
A letter distributed to staff and students included the following message:

For safety reasons all staff and students are reminded that the taking of hot drinks out of the Refectory / fast food areas is strictly forbidden.

Several slipping accidents have already occurred as a result of liquid being spilt on the floor and the probability of someone suffering from a serious scalding accident whilst walking along busy corridors and getting into crowded lifts is high.

Your full cooperation in ensuring that you do not put yourself and others at risk is required.

Tesco Fruit Juice Carton
On bottom side: "Keep Upright".
Sainsburys Mineral Water
Suitable for vegetarians.
Slush Puppy Cup
(On the side of the cup) "This ice may be cold"

Child-Sized Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

Hehe, this ones great:
Various Computers
Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue

Lucent Technologies Model 6210 Telephone
The following is found on page 4 of the instruction book:

To place or answer a call, lift the handset.
To place a call, dial the desired number.
To end the call, hang up the handset.

Another gem, also on Page 4:
To put a call on Hold: Press "Hold".


Blockbuster Rental DVD
Be kind - rewind.
Nabisco Easy Cheese
For best results, remove cap.
Swanson TV Dinners
This product must be cooked before eating.

Theres a lot more, just check out the link I posted above.

-The Pentium Guy

Edit: Oh crap, my font screwed up. Bah oh well
 
Some more, coudlnt resist:

Unknown Birth Control Pills
Do not use if you are pregnant, intend to become pregnant, or might be pregnant.
Nytol Sleep Aid
Warning: May cause drowsiness
Boots Childrens Cough Medicine
Do not drive a car or run machinery.

Unknown Christmas Lights
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.
(wth?)

Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Unknown Fire Extinguisher
Caution: Non-Flamable
Energizer AAA 4 Pack
If swallowed, promptly see doctor.

Unknown Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

Unknown Matches
Caution: Contents may catch fire.
Unknown Korean Kitchen Knife
Keep out of children.

Unknown Diving Board
All divers must land in water!

On Rear of Big Rig, San Fransisco, CA
Warning! Do not attempt to drive under, over, or through this truck. If you should choose to ignore this warning, good luck and have fun! Do not pass on right side

Claymore Anti-Personal Mine
DO NOT EAT


Ansell Condoms
Do not return used condoms to the manufacturer through the mail.

Machettee

caution: this tool will cut

Signs:


Interstate 10, Near Phoenix, AZ
State Prison: Do Not Stop for Hitchhikers
Highway 26, Idaho Falls, Idaho
Warning to tourists: dont laugh at the natives.
Unknown Location
The sign reads, "Ignore this sign".
Rim Drive, Durango, CO
Warning: Do Not Hit This Sign
Braille menu available upon request.
Picture menu available for those unable to read.


Braille menu available upon request.
Picture menu available for those unable to read.

Throughout the UK
Children Drive Slowly
(reworded, without the comma after children, or so it seems
)....

A gas pump
The sign reads, "Please Pre-Pay in advance."

Champion Bowling Alley
A sign over the alley reads: "Please roll ball"
Church Parking Lot Sign
Thou shalt not park

Road Construction Points, New Jersey
Various state-issued construction signs in a childish handwriting say

"Slow down my daddy (and mommy) works here"
and
"FREE Speeding Tickets Ahead!" <-- Ive actually seen these 2...! Theres one in logan airport


Other stuff:
Unknown 500-piece puzzle
Some assembly required.
"Guess Who" Game
Note: Game pieces do not actually talk.

Swedish Chainsaw
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

-The Pentium Guy
 
Its a product of all the lawyers in our society. If its not explicit people will sue the crap out of other people. But its funny none the less.
 
Heh, yeah I hate that. Stupid fools need guidance in everything. Some guy robbed a house, and went to the garage. He closed the door behind him, and it locked. So he tried using the garage door. Apparently the thing wasnt working. He got stuck in the garage for 3 days, starved. After the people came back (from vacation or something), they found him and arrested him. After getting out of jail, the guy sued the garage door company (apparently) for malfunctioning garage door openers. He won.

Go figure,
-The Pentium Guy
 
ThePentiumGuy said:
Heh, yeah I hate that. Stupid fools need guidance in everything. Some guy robbed a house, and went to the garage. He closed the door behind him, and it locked. So he tried using the garage door. Apparently the thing wasnt working. He got stuck in the garage for 3 days, starved. After the people came back (from vacation or something), they found him and arrested him. After getting out of jail, the guy sued the garage door company (apparently) for malfunctioning garage door openers. He won.

Go figure,
-The Pentium Guy

ROTFL!!!!!!
 
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